P.C. is a cat
who is grey and who is black
and just for a snack
he licks hair.
Strange taste one might say
but to him, he can't wait
to knead hair with his paws
and yes sometimes with his claws.
He purrs while stroking your locks
He mews answers while you talk
Burying deep in your 'do
Until he falls asleep on you.
P.C. is a cat
who is grey and who is black
and just for a snack
he licks hair
By Kimberly Ann Coon
Copyright March 20, 2014
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Monday, July 21, 2014
Thursday, July 3, 2014
The Good, the Bad and the Beyond for Mars and Venus relationships
The Good - Oxytocin, Estrogen and Testosterone - The Honeymoon Phase
When we fall in love, we are filled with exhilarating chemicals and hormones - like oxytocin, estrogen and testosterone. These good chemicals and hormones send messages at a cellular level affecting the growth, development, energy and mood of our minds and bodies. It rushes through us causing our stress levels to drop significantly - giving us a euphoric feeling.
We've all heard about "The Honeymoon Phase" of many relationships. Well, if you are lucky, this feeling of love, compatibility, sexual attraction and general bliss can last up to three years.
While in the honeymoon phase, the stressors of everyday life just seem to fade into the woodwork. Everything about your mate is endearing and adorable. You both love to do everything with each other and often for each other. The more you give, the higher the feel-good hormones climb. It seems like an endless win-win situation.
Until, like all things, reality sets in. In little ways at first. Such as forgetting to walk the dog when she got home - causing an accident. It's not a huge deal, but suddenly the euphoric hormones of yesterday have started to diminish just a little. You feel just a touch stressed out at the urine stain on your new Berber carpet. You convince yourself that it is nothing; but it is too late, the first stage of the bad has just peed on your carpet. Because of one forgotten chore, the freebie honeymoon stage is entering the beginning of the end.
Just realizing this starts to lower your feel-good hormone levels and raise your stress ones.
The Bad: Adrenaline and Cortisol - Fight or Flight
According to Dr. John Gray in "Why Mars and Venus Collide", the production of adrenaline (aka epinephrine) and cortisol, hormones secreted by the adrenal gland, is how our bodies respond to outside stress. Our prehistoric ancestors used these hormones as a temporary burst of energy and mental clarity when they were in mortal danger and had to make the choice of "fight or flight". This burst of hormones redirects secondary functions like digestion to your muscles and brain so you can protect yourself.
This hormonal survival mechanism is fantastic in life-or-death situations. But, our bodies were not intended to withstand a continual outpouring of these hormones without damage. As a result, our immune systems can become compromised making us more susceptible to disease and illness. Also, our digestive system is another affected secondary system that can result in loss of energy, malnutrition and low metabolism leading to weight gain.
Other side effects of the continual onslaught of these hormones are:
- Anxiety can mess with our happiness
- Mild Depression can inhibit passion
- Unstable blood sugar levels can affect mood
- Loss of energy affects how much we are able to give and do
- Irritability can ruin affection, gratitude and tenderness
- Loss of Interest for men
- Feeling overwhelmed for women
- A nagging feeling of urgency reduces our ability to be patient and flexible
Each of these side effects can chip away at your relationship. Oftentimes, murdering yet another love affair.
Dr. John Gray's "Why Mars and Venus Collide" offers a relationship life-line
Women: Tend and Befriend plus Oxytocin production - the cuddle hormone
TEND and BEFRIEND is an evolutionary response to stress. For survival, countless generations of women have been practicing the tend-and-befriend response. It involves taking care of (or tending) to the young and befriending other women to ensure their mutual survival. This bonding is an excellent survival mechanism for women and children.
Oxytocin - the cuddle hormone
For women, replenishing their oxytocin supply is essential in boosting their life, laughter, libido and love affairs. Here are 10 ways to stimulate more oxytocin production:
1. Communication
2. Safety
3. Cleanliness
4. Teamwork
5. Compliments
6. Caring
7. Affection
8. Collaboration
9. Beauty
10. Creativity
Men: Achieving, Appreciation and Success to build and balance Testosterone levels
Testosterone - King of the hormones
For men, testosterone is essential to everything from dominance, emotional and physical strength to body shape, odor, hairiness and sexual performance. It also greatly affects the male mindset - intellect, creativity, drive and assertiveness. And is a great determiner of lifetime general health.
Did you know that adult males produce 20 to 30 times more testosterone than women do? The trick to dealing with stress is having the right T-level - not too high or too low. Chronic stress can lower a man's T-level so that he develops Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS). Withdrawal, depression and irritability are common symptoms of this condition. Did you know that In the last 25 years, T-levels have fallen significantly in American men.
Is Achieving, Appreciation and Success the answer to low T-count?
Researchers have found that feelings of success have been linked to normal T-levels. When a man feels successful, it is reflected in his relationship. His partner trusts him, feels fulfilled and accepted. Because of this, he feels appreciated. This sense of achievement offsets the stress effect by stimulating healthy levels of testosterone.
Finally, couples who work on how to lovingly communicate to one another using some of the techniques found on Dr. John Gray's website www.marsvenusrelationship.com have a much greater chance of turning the "Honeymoon Phase" into a bonafide "Happily Ever After".
The end.
By Kimberly Coon
Copyright July 3, 2014
When we fall in love, we are filled with exhilarating chemicals and hormones - like oxytocin, estrogen and testosterone. These good chemicals and hormones send messages at a cellular level affecting the growth, development, energy and mood of our minds and bodies. It rushes through us causing our stress levels to drop significantly - giving us a euphoric feeling.
We've all heard about "The Honeymoon Phase" of many relationships. Well, if you are lucky, this feeling of love, compatibility, sexual attraction and general bliss can last up to three years.
While in the honeymoon phase, the stressors of everyday life just seem to fade into the woodwork. Everything about your mate is endearing and adorable. You both love to do everything with each other and often for each other. The more you give, the higher the feel-good hormones climb. It seems like an endless win-win situation.
Until, like all things, reality sets in. In little ways at first. Such as forgetting to walk the dog when she got home - causing an accident. It's not a huge deal, but suddenly the euphoric hormones of yesterday have started to diminish just a little. You feel just a touch stressed out at the urine stain on your new Berber carpet. You convince yourself that it is nothing; but it is too late, the first stage of the bad has just peed on your carpet. Because of one forgotten chore, the freebie honeymoon stage is entering the beginning of the end.
Just realizing this starts to lower your feel-good hormone levels and raise your stress ones.
The Bad: Adrenaline and Cortisol - Fight or Flight
According to Dr. John Gray in "Why Mars and Venus Collide", the production of adrenaline (aka epinephrine) and cortisol, hormones secreted by the adrenal gland, is how our bodies respond to outside stress. Our prehistoric ancestors used these hormones as a temporary burst of energy and mental clarity when they were in mortal danger and had to make the choice of "fight or flight". This burst of hormones redirects secondary functions like digestion to your muscles and brain so you can protect yourself.
This hormonal survival mechanism is fantastic in life-or-death situations. But, our bodies were not intended to withstand a continual outpouring of these hormones without damage. As a result, our immune systems can become compromised making us more susceptible to disease and illness. Also, our digestive system is another affected secondary system that can result in loss of energy, malnutrition and low metabolism leading to weight gain.
Other side effects of the continual onslaught of these hormones are:
- Anxiety can mess with our happiness
- Mild Depression can inhibit passion
- Unstable blood sugar levels can affect mood
- Loss of energy affects how much we are able to give and do
- Irritability can ruin affection, gratitude and tenderness
- Loss of Interest for men
- Feeling overwhelmed for women
- A nagging feeling of urgency reduces our ability to be patient and flexible
Each of these side effects can chip away at your relationship. Oftentimes, murdering yet another love affair.
Dr. John Gray's "Why Mars and Venus Collide" offers a relationship life-line
Women: Tend and Befriend plus Oxytocin production - the cuddle hormone
TEND and BEFRIEND is an evolutionary response to stress. For survival, countless generations of women have been practicing the tend-and-befriend response. It involves taking care of (or tending) to the young and befriending other women to ensure their mutual survival. This bonding is an excellent survival mechanism for women and children.
Oxytocin - the cuddle hormone
For women, replenishing their oxytocin supply is essential in boosting their life, laughter, libido and love affairs. Here are 10 ways to stimulate more oxytocin production:
1. Communication
2. Safety
3. Cleanliness
4. Teamwork
5. Compliments
6. Caring
7. Affection
8. Collaboration
9. Beauty
10. Creativity
Men: Achieving, Appreciation and Success to build and balance Testosterone levels
Testosterone - King of the hormones
For men, testosterone is essential to everything from dominance, emotional and physical strength to body shape, odor, hairiness and sexual performance. It also greatly affects the male mindset - intellect, creativity, drive and assertiveness. And is a great determiner of lifetime general health.
Did you know that adult males produce 20 to 30 times more testosterone than women do? The trick to dealing with stress is having the right T-level - not too high or too low. Chronic stress can lower a man's T-level so that he develops Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS). Withdrawal, depression and irritability are common symptoms of this condition. Did you know that In the last 25 years, T-levels have fallen significantly in American men.
Is Achieving, Appreciation and Success the answer to low T-count?
Researchers have found that feelings of success have been linked to normal T-levels. When a man feels successful, it is reflected in his relationship. His partner trusts him, feels fulfilled and accepted. Because of this, he feels appreciated. This sense of achievement offsets the stress effect by stimulating healthy levels of testosterone.
Finally, couples who work on how to lovingly communicate to one another using some of the techniques found on Dr. John Gray's website www.marsvenusrelationship.com have a much greater chance of turning the "Honeymoon Phase" into a bonafide "Happily Ever After".
The end.
By Kimberly Coon
Copyright July 3, 2014
LISTEN TO ME!
Females are physically, psychologically and physiologically different from males. With such a gaping chasm of differences, here are a few pointers to help both men and women better communicate.
1. A woman's bridge between both sides of the brain is much larger than a man's. This allows women to absorb a variety of information faster than men. When contemplating issues, scientific brain-mapping shows that females have activity in many regions of the brain simultaneously. This indicates that they are extremely capable of summing up numerous facts and multi-tasking answers in a shorter period of time. The oxytocin produced during these productive sessions is extremely pleasing to women and reduces stress dramatically.
In contrast, when men are faced with problems, they tend to use only one side of the brain. This indicates that they are better at focusing all of their attention on one issue at a time. Because of this, they prefer to prioritize. Solving the most immediate problem first. If it is unsolvable at the moment, they will shut down that thought process and move on to the next one. Decision-making in this way causes them the least stress.
With such a difference in the way each sex processes information, many find it challenging to be heard.
2. Here are some facts you should know to help you with your communication skills.
Food for thought about women:
- A woman needs to feel heard. She wants to talk about her stress - even if there is no immediate resolution. Talking and sharing help produce oxytocin, which ultimately reduces her stress level considerably.
- Body language and affirmations throughout her conversation is also extremely important. Nod your head when she makes a point or answer with an affirmation like: "Yes", "Right", "Okay" etc. The point is to let her know that she has your attention and you are following her conversation.
- Once she finishes her dialogue, a question like: "What do think we ought do to about this?" can go a very long way to impress her. Remember, she shares her stress because it soothes her. She will usually come to the solution on her own given the chance. She just enjoys the oxytocin-journey she takes to get there.
- In general, women are polite creatures. They have a tendency to wait to be asked their opinion. One of the most common mistakes a man can make during discourse is to interrupt her during her dialogue and blurt out how he's going to fix it. From the woman's point of view, it can come across as very condescending and even affect her confidence. Resentment is a common by-product.
- Women have a hard time complimenting themselves publicly. Most have a hard time even asking for a deserved promotion or more responsibility. She waits. Women need feedback. They assume that the boss will be so dazzled by their work that they will be knocking down her door with offers of advancements. This is a fairy tale. When it doesn't happen, she's hurt by her boss and colleagues for their general lack of recognition.
- For a woman to get ahead, she must resist this urge to wait. Instead, jump in and share her thoughts and opinions. It's can be a difficult balancing act at first. Since females are relatively new to the self-promoting game so well-mastered by the men, they are often labeled as being too pushy for their efforts.
The good news is that all it takes is a few well-presented and well-timed ideas before she becomes an automatic go-to person in the boardroom for her insight.
Food for thought about men:
- In contrast to females, it actually stresses men out much more to talk about their problems. They only use one side of the brain while ruminating on ideas. Because of this, they tackle one problem at a time. They fix it immediately if at all possible. If not, they simply move on to the next issue. Solving problems produce testosterone that gives them the natural chemical buzz to continue meeting issues one at a time.
- Men are constantly promoting themselves. Whether they actually deserve the accolades isn't important. They love to take credit. They self-promote to their employers constantly. They subtlety sow the seeds of competency, confidence and dependability. So even if they aren't needed today for a project, the idea has been planted. Somewhere down the line when a new project arises, the employer will have to pick someone from the employee pool. And the person who has best planted his subconscious seeds tend to be the employee chosen.
- Men are very frugal with their body language compared to women. They stay still and quiet throughout presentations, unless their is a particular point that they agree with. As discussed above, it is important to interact much more dynamically when talking to a woman.
- In a work environment, men are like a pack of dogs fighting over a bone. It's more or less a free-for-all of ideas. Polite etiquette goes out the window. Men will throw out ideas, interrupt each other in aggressive attempts to dominate the conversation to get the ear of the person in charge. This may work well with male employers; however, not ideal for female bosses.
- As discussed earlier, men talk more about the solution than the problem. So if you have a male boss, it is very important to get straight to the point. Prepare. Know what you want to say and then stick to the script. For women, the surest way to persuade a man to do something is by simply asking, "Will you do this for me?" Wait for them to finish and then thank them.
- It's paramount to understand what makes men and women feel good. It will help you immeasurably in all facets of business and pleasure. If you want to ask for a raise or promotion, do your homework and make your requests clear, direct and reasonable. In addition, always leave your boss feeling good. Even if he says no, make sure you leave it on a positive open-ended note. For instance: "What can I do to get this raise, benefit etc."
Dr. John Gray, author of best-selling book "Why Mars and Venus Collide" offers amazing insight into why we communicate the way we do. The chemicals produced by men and women in the same situations are dramatically different and a major reason for the huge communication gap between sexes. Understanding these differences can be invaluable to building, opening, repairing, and most importantly, understanding successful communication channels between men and women. To take a more in-depth look into "Why Mars and Venus Collide", check out www.marsvenus.com.
The end.
By Kimberly Ann Coon
Social Media Advisor
Copyright July 3, 2014
1. A woman's bridge between both sides of the brain is much larger than a man's. This allows women to absorb a variety of information faster than men. When contemplating issues, scientific brain-mapping shows that females have activity in many regions of the brain simultaneously. This indicates that they are extremely capable of summing up numerous facts and multi-tasking answers in a shorter period of time. The oxytocin produced during these productive sessions is extremely pleasing to women and reduces stress dramatically.
In contrast, when men are faced with problems, they tend to use only one side of the brain. This indicates that they are better at focusing all of their attention on one issue at a time. Because of this, they prefer to prioritize. Solving the most immediate problem first. If it is unsolvable at the moment, they will shut down that thought process and move on to the next one. Decision-making in this way causes them the least stress.
With such a difference in the way each sex processes information, many find it challenging to be heard.
2. Here are some facts you should know to help you with your communication skills.
Food for thought about women:
- A woman needs to feel heard. She wants to talk about her stress - even if there is no immediate resolution. Talking and sharing help produce oxytocin, which ultimately reduces her stress level considerably.
- Body language and affirmations throughout her conversation is also extremely important. Nod your head when she makes a point or answer with an affirmation like: "Yes", "Right", "Okay" etc. The point is to let her know that she has your attention and you are following her conversation.
- Once she finishes her dialogue, a question like: "What do think we ought do to about this?" can go a very long way to impress her. Remember, she shares her stress because it soothes her. She will usually come to the solution on her own given the chance. She just enjoys the oxytocin-journey she takes to get there.
- In general, women are polite creatures. They have a tendency to wait to be asked their opinion. One of the most common mistakes a man can make during discourse is to interrupt her during her dialogue and blurt out how he's going to fix it. From the woman's point of view, it can come across as very condescending and even affect her confidence. Resentment is a common by-product.
- Women have a hard time complimenting themselves publicly. Most have a hard time even asking for a deserved promotion or more responsibility. She waits. Women need feedback. They assume that the boss will be so dazzled by their work that they will be knocking down her door with offers of advancements. This is a fairy tale. When it doesn't happen, she's hurt by her boss and colleagues for their general lack of recognition.
- For a woman to get ahead, she must resist this urge to wait. Instead, jump in and share her thoughts and opinions. It's can be a difficult balancing act at first. Since females are relatively new to the self-promoting game so well-mastered by the men, they are often labeled as being too pushy for their efforts.
The good news is that all it takes is a few well-presented and well-timed ideas before she becomes an automatic go-to person in the boardroom for her insight.
Food for thought about men:
- In contrast to females, it actually stresses men out much more to talk about their problems. They only use one side of the brain while ruminating on ideas. Because of this, they tackle one problem at a time. They fix it immediately if at all possible. If not, they simply move on to the next issue. Solving problems produce testosterone that gives them the natural chemical buzz to continue meeting issues one at a time.
- Men are constantly promoting themselves. Whether they actually deserve the accolades isn't important. They love to take credit. They self-promote to their employers constantly. They subtlety sow the seeds of competency, confidence and dependability. So even if they aren't needed today for a project, the idea has been planted. Somewhere down the line when a new project arises, the employer will have to pick someone from the employee pool. And the person who has best planted his subconscious seeds tend to be the employee chosen.
- Men are very frugal with their body language compared to women. They stay still and quiet throughout presentations, unless their is a particular point that they agree with. As discussed above, it is important to interact much more dynamically when talking to a woman.
- In a work environment, men are like a pack of dogs fighting over a bone. It's more or less a free-for-all of ideas. Polite etiquette goes out the window. Men will throw out ideas, interrupt each other in aggressive attempts to dominate the conversation to get the ear of the person in charge. This may work well with male employers; however, not ideal for female bosses.
- As discussed earlier, men talk more about the solution than the problem. So if you have a male boss, it is very important to get straight to the point. Prepare. Know what you want to say and then stick to the script. For women, the surest way to persuade a man to do something is by simply asking, "Will you do this for me?" Wait for them to finish and then thank them.
- It's paramount to understand what makes men and women feel good. It will help you immeasurably in all facets of business and pleasure. If you want to ask for a raise or promotion, do your homework and make your requests clear, direct and reasonable. In addition, always leave your boss feeling good. Even if he says no, make sure you leave it on a positive open-ended note. For instance: "What can I do to get this raise, benefit etc."
Dr. John Gray, author of best-selling book "Why Mars and Venus Collide" offers amazing insight into why we communicate the way we do. The chemicals produced by men and women in the same situations are dramatically different and a major reason for the huge communication gap between sexes. Understanding these differences can be invaluable to building, opening, repairing, and most importantly, understanding successful communication channels between men and women. To take a more in-depth look into "Why Mars and Venus Collide", check out www.marsvenus.com.
The end.
By Kimberly Ann Coon
Social Media Advisor
Copyright July 3, 2014
Mars and Venus Relationship Blog 2 June 30, 2014
The Philosophy of Dr. John Gray in real-world action ...
My name is Kimberly and I was recently hired to write the Mars and Venus Relationship Blog. I had a fantastic creative meeting with CEO of marsandvenus.com, Rich Bernstein, as well as his IT guru, John. We brainstormed and I was given my assignments due the next Friday.
I was absolutely thrilled to be learn that I would be writing about relationships and how the different chemistry between men and women affect all facets of life. I love research, anecdotes, statistics, trivia, quotes, bullet points etc. With my writing and marketing background, I was really going to impress them and pull out all the stops.
I was given a copy of "Why Mars and Venus Collide" by best-selling author, Dr. John Gray. As well as access to various workshop presentations on how to use science and the Mars and Venus principles to communicate better and achieve goals more effectively.
The next day, I piled up my pillows, filled my Big Gulp with Diet Coke and extra ice, and snuggled into my writing position to start research using the book and by accessing some of the online workshops.
And then the phone rang. One of those ominous, life-changing rings. I answered to find out that my father had had a heart attack and was in the hospital. Three days and a battery of tests later, he was given instructions, medication and brought home - only to pass out an hour later and sent back again. After his second visit to the hospital, I decided to stay with my father 24/7 to make sure he didn't have any more mishaps.
Throughout this whole ordeal, I would send updates to Rich letting him know about my father's condition and warning him that I might not make my deadline. I was so happy and honored to be chosen for this position, that I didn't want him to be disappointed in me. So I sent him a message every chance I could to let him know what was going on.
After a couple detailed emails from me, he simply replied that it was fine and that family came first. Of course I kept updating him, and eventually, he stopped replying. This sent me into a tailspin of worry.
Luckily, I chose a workshop about stress in the workplace and the difference between the ways that men and women process it. Women tend to want to talk more, which produces oxytocin to help soothe them. While stressed men produce testosterone. This makes them either want to solve the problem immediately; or if unsolvable, put a pin in it and move on. Rehashing the same issue 27 different ways causes men to stress more and finally they shut down.
Dr. Gray's advice for women in this situation (my situation) was to come quickly to the point. Forget updates. Just say what needs to be said then stop. I decided to take his advice to heart.
So, instead of sending Rich a paragraph summarizing my Dad's pharmacology and MRI results. I forced myself to pare down my message to a very simple:
"Is it okay if we reschedule our meeting to next Friday?"
He replied, "That's fine."
With just two words, a week of worry was whisked away. That, my friends, is the philosophy of Dr. John Gray in real-world action.
By Kimberly Coon
Copyright June 30, 2014
My name is Kimberly and I was recently hired to write the Mars and Venus Relationship Blog. I had a fantastic creative meeting with CEO of marsandvenus.com, Rich Bernstein, as well as his IT guru, John. We brainstormed and I was given my assignments due the next Friday.
I was absolutely thrilled to be learn that I would be writing about relationships and how the different chemistry between men and women affect all facets of life. I love research, anecdotes, statistics, trivia, quotes, bullet points etc. With my writing and marketing background, I was really going to impress them and pull out all the stops.
I was given a copy of "Why Mars and Venus Collide" by best-selling author, Dr. John Gray. As well as access to various workshop presentations on how to use science and the Mars and Venus principles to communicate better and achieve goals more effectively.
The next day, I piled up my pillows, filled my Big Gulp with Diet Coke and extra ice, and snuggled into my writing position to start research using the book and by accessing some of the online workshops.
And then the phone rang. One of those ominous, life-changing rings. I answered to find out that my father had had a heart attack and was in the hospital. Three days and a battery of tests later, he was given instructions, medication and brought home - only to pass out an hour later and sent back again. After his second visit to the hospital, I decided to stay with my father 24/7 to make sure he didn't have any more mishaps.
Throughout this whole ordeal, I would send updates to Rich letting him know about my father's condition and warning him that I might not make my deadline. I was so happy and honored to be chosen for this position, that I didn't want him to be disappointed in me. So I sent him a message every chance I could to let him know what was going on.
After a couple detailed emails from me, he simply replied that it was fine and that family came first. Of course I kept updating him, and eventually, he stopped replying. This sent me into a tailspin of worry.
Luckily, I chose a workshop about stress in the workplace and the difference between the ways that men and women process it. Women tend to want to talk more, which produces oxytocin to help soothe them. While stressed men produce testosterone. This makes them either want to solve the problem immediately; or if unsolvable, put a pin in it and move on. Rehashing the same issue 27 different ways causes men to stress more and finally they shut down.
Dr. Gray's advice for women in this situation (my situation) was to come quickly to the point. Forget updates. Just say what needs to be said then stop. I decided to take his advice to heart.
So, instead of sending Rich a paragraph summarizing my Dad's pharmacology and MRI results. I forced myself to pare down my message to a very simple:
"Is it okay if we reschedule our meeting to next Friday?"
He replied, "That's fine."
With just two words, a week of worry was whisked away. That, my friends, is the philosophy of Dr. John Gray in real-world action.
By Kimberly Coon
Copyright June 30, 2014
What is Gender Intelligence?
What is Gender Intelligence?
Gender intelligence is the ability to comprehend the distinguishing characteristics of males and females, beyond that of a physical and cultural nature, to include their attitudinal and behavioral distinctiveness.
Why is Gender Intelligence important to you?
Knowing gender intelligence will improve your relationships both personally and professionally.
How Gender Intelligent are you?
Take the Free Quiz at http://marsvenuscoaching.com/relationship-quiz/ and get your results instantly.
Gender intelligence is the ability to comprehend the distinguishing characteristics of males and females, beyond that of a physical and cultural nature, to include their attitudinal and behavioral distinctiveness.
Why is Gender Intelligence important to you?
Knowing gender intelligence will improve your relationships both personally and professionally.
How Gender Intelligent are you?
Take the Free Quiz at http://marsvenuscoaching.com/relationship-quiz/ and get your results instantly.
The Chemistry of "Chemistry"
The three stages of Love are: Lust, Attraction, and Attachment. Love is a biological imperative, much like hunger or thirst. In order to ensure survival of our species, we must be mated and sated.
Lust is the initial feeling of sexual desire that triggers the goal of mating. During this stage, there is a temporary increase in such feel-good chemicals as estrogen and testosterone. This phase rarely last more than a few months at best - so enjoy them while you can.
Attraction is an interesting evolved technique to conserve time and energy in order to focus on the ultimate goal - finding love. Hard to believe but romantic attraction actually reduces the playing field. It weeds out most of the competition simply because the "hunter" is not attracted to them. This speeds the whole process up because narrowing it down makes it much easier to choose from the selected pool of attractive potential mates.
According to expert Helen Fisher, author of "Deļ¬ning the Brain Systems of Lust, Romantic Attraction, and Attachment", recent studies show that while falling in love, the brain consistently releases an exciting cocktail of "Happy" chemicals. Well-liked substances such as Serotonin, Dopamine, Norepinephrine and Neurotransmitter hormones are the same concoction released when you are on amphetamines. As you would expect, this vigorously stimulates the brain's pleasure center. It also explains the common "falling in love" symptoms of loss of appetite, insomnia, wildly beating heart and flushes of excitement.
The good news is that this natural chemical euphoria generally lasts between 18 months to three years.
Attachment, the third stage of love accounts for long-term relationships. It's the bonding that seals the love. It evokes grownup feelings of responsibility, safety, security and mutual defense. It includes sharing a home, children, marriage and parental duties. It also is based on shared interests and mutual friendship.
Interestingly enough, the chemical high of the first two phases are nothing compared to the goodies that come with Attachment. It produces much higher levels of nature's newest "wonder" compound: Oxytocin. It puts the awes ... in awesome. Higher doses are found in women than men. Also, their are countless ways to produce its secretion naturally. For a look at 100 ways to stimulate Oxytocin production, go to www.marsvenus.com for an in-depth look at how it can help you in every aspect of your life.
Finally, it was been reported in Psychoneuroendocrinology (Sept.'05) that the protein molecule known as the Nerve Growth Factor (NGF) soars when people first fall in love.
NFG is a superstar protein. It not only slows down or stops nerve degeneration, but also it has been shown to promote nerve regeneration and myelin repair. This is fantastic news for people suffering from such debilitating conditions as Multiple Sclerosis . The nerve regeneration may also be instrumental in treating various psychiatric disorders as dementia, depression, schizophrenia, autism, Rett's Syndrome, anorexia, bulimia and Alzheimer's disease.
NFG takes around one year to return to its normal levels. But listen to this, it's been proven to last longer and in higher dosages the more passionate the couples are. So, here's a life-lesson:
It's better to be a lover than a fighter
By Kimberly Coon
Copyright June 15, 2014.
Lust is the initial feeling of sexual desire that triggers the goal of mating. During this stage, there is a temporary increase in such feel-good chemicals as estrogen and testosterone. This phase rarely last more than a few months at best - so enjoy them while you can.
Attraction is an interesting evolved technique to conserve time and energy in order to focus on the ultimate goal - finding love. Hard to believe but romantic attraction actually reduces the playing field. It weeds out most of the competition simply because the "hunter" is not attracted to them. This speeds the whole process up because narrowing it down makes it much easier to choose from the selected pool of attractive potential mates.
According to expert Helen Fisher, author of "Deļ¬ning the Brain Systems of Lust, Romantic Attraction, and Attachment", recent studies show that while falling in love, the brain consistently releases an exciting cocktail of "Happy" chemicals. Well-liked substances such as Serotonin, Dopamine, Norepinephrine and Neurotransmitter hormones are the same concoction released when you are on amphetamines. As you would expect, this vigorously stimulates the brain's pleasure center. It also explains the common "falling in love" symptoms of loss of appetite, insomnia, wildly beating heart and flushes of excitement.
The good news is that this natural chemical euphoria generally lasts between 18 months to three years.
Attachment, the third stage of love accounts for long-term relationships. It's the bonding that seals the love. It evokes grownup feelings of responsibility, safety, security and mutual defense. It includes sharing a home, children, marriage and parental duties. It also is based on shared interests and mutual friendship.
Interestingly enough, the chemical high of the first two phases are nothing compared to the goodies that come with Attachment. It produces much higher levels of nature's newest "wonder" compound: Oxytocin. It puts the awes ... in awesome. Higher doses are found in women than men. Also, their are countless ways to produce its secretion naturally. For a look at 100 ways to stimulate Oxytocin production, go to www.marsvenus.com for an in-depth look at how it can help you in every aspect of your life.
Finally, it was been reported in Psychoneuroendocrinology (Sept.'05) that the protein molecule known as the Nerve Growth Factor (NGF) soars when people first fall in love.
NFG is a superstar protein. It not only slows down or stops nerve degeneration, but also it has been shown to promote nerve regeneration and myelin repair. This is fantastic news for people suffering from such debilitating conditions as Multiple Sclerosis . The nerve regeneration may also be instrumental in treating various psychiatric disorders as dementia, depression, schizophrenia, autism, Rett's Syndrome, anorexia, bulimia and Alzheimer's disease.
NFG takes around one year to return to its normal levels. But listen to this, it's been proven to last longer and in higher dosages the more passionate the couples are. So, here's a life-lesson:
It's better to be a lover than a fighter
By Kimberly Coon
Copyright June 15, 2014.