The Good - Oxytocin, Estrogen and Testosterone - The Honeymoon Phase
When we fall in love, we are filled with exhilarating chemicals and hormones - like oxytocin, estrogen and testosterone. These good chemicals and hormones send messages at a cellular level affecting the growth, development, energy and mood of our minds and bodies. It rushes through us causing our stress levels to drop significantly - giving us a euphoric feeling.
We've all heard about "The Honeymoon Phase" of many relationships. Well, if you are lucky, this feeling of love, compatibility, sexual attraction and general bliss can last up to three years.
While in the honeymoon phase, the stressors of everyday life just seem to fade into the woodwork. Everything about your mate is endearing and adorable. You both love to do everything with each other and often for each other. The more you give, the higher the feel-good hormones climb. It seems like an endless win-win situation.
Until, like all things, reality sets in. In little ways at first. Such as forgetting to walk the dog when she got home - causing an accident. It's not a huge deal, but suddenly the euphoric hormones of yesterday have started to diminish just a little. You feel just a touch stressed out at the urine stain on your new Berber carpet. You convince yourself that it is nothing; but it is too late, the first stage of the bad has just peed on your carpet. Because of one forgotten chore, the freebie honeymoon stage is entering the beginning of the end.
Just realizing this starts to lower your feel-good hormone levels and raise your stress ones.
The Bad: Adrenaline and Cortisol - Fight or Flight
According to Dr. John Gray in "Why Mars and Venus Collide", the production of adrenaline (aka epinephrine) and cortisol, hormones secreted by the adrenal gland, is how our bodies respond to outside stress. Our prehistoric ancestors used these hormones as a temporary burst of energy and mental clarity when they were in mortal danger and had to make the choice of "fight or flight". This burst of hormones redirects secondary functions like digestion to your muscles and brain so you can protect yourself.
This hormonal survival mechanism is fantastic in life-or-death situations. But, our bodies were not intended to withstand a continual outpouring of these hormones without damage. As a result, our immune systems can become compromised making us more susceptible to disease and illness. Also, our digestive system is another affected secondary system that can result in loss of energy, malnutrition and low metabolism leading to weight gain.
Other side effects of the continual onslaught of these hormones are:
- Anxiety can mess with our happiness
- Mild Depression can inhibit passion
- Unstable blood sugar levels can affect mood
- Loss of energy affects how much we are able to give and do
- Irritability can ruin affection, gratitude and tenderness
- Loss of Interest for men
- Feeling overwhelmed for women
- A nagging feeling of urgency reduces our ability to be patient and flexible
Each of these side effects can chip away at your relationship. Oftentimes, murdering yet another love affair.
Dr. John Gray's "Why Mars and Venus Collide" offers a relationship life-line
Women: Tend and Befriend plus Oxytocin production - the cuddle hormone
TEND and BEFRIEND is an evolutionary response to stress. For survival, countless generations of women have been practicing the tend-and-befriend response. It involves taking care of (or tending) to the young and befriending other women to ensure their mutual survival. This bonding is an excellent survival mechanism for women and children.
Oxytocin - the cuddle hormone
For women, replenishing their oxytocin supply is essential in boosting their life, laughter, libido and love affairs. Here are 10 ways to stimulate more oxytocin production:
1. Communication
2. Safety
3. Cleanliness
4. Teamwork
5. Compliments
6. Caring
7. Affection
8. Collaboration
9. Beauty
10. Creativity
Men: Achieving, Appreciation and Success to build and balance Testosterone levels
Testosterone - King of the hormones
For men, testosterone is essential to everything from dominance, emotional and physical strength to body shape, odor, hairiness and sexual performance. It also greatly affects the male mindset - intellect, creativity, drive and assertiveness. And is a great determiner of lifetime general health.
Did you know that adult males produce 20 to 30 times more testosterone than women do? The trick to dealing with stress is having the right T-level - not too high or too low. Chronic stress can lower a man's T-level so that he develops Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS). Withdrawal, depression and irritability are common symptoms of this condition. Did you know that In the last 25 years, T-levels have fallen significantly in American men.
Is Achieving, Appreciation and Success the answer to low T-count?
Researchers have found that feelings of
success have been linked to normal T-levels. When a man feels successful, it is reflected in his relationship. His partner trusts him, feels fulfilled and accepted. Because of this, he feels
appreciated. This sense of
achievement offsets the stress effect by stimulating healthy levels of testosterone.
Finally, couples who work on how to lovingly communicate to one another using some of the techniques found on Dr. John Gray's website www.marsvenusrelationship.com have a much greater chance of turning the "Honeymoon Phase" into a bonafide "Happily Ever After".
The end.
By Kimberly Coon
Copyright July 3, 2014
